If you had told freshman-year me that I would participate in Model United Nations out of my own free will, I probably would have laughed in your face.

However, I decided to step out of my comfort zone this year and sign up. I have always been interested in politics and activism and trying to work on public speaking, which is not always my strong suit. When I found out some of my friends were joining the Model UN club at school this year, I thought it could be a good idea.

The club attended the 49th annual Model UN Conference at Yale University, held from January 19 to January 22.

To be totally honest, I did not feel prepared once it was time for us to leave. However, I tried my best to scramble last minute and completed everything required.

Along with the initial anxiety around being unprepared, I also felt anxious about the unknowns of YMUN, as we call the conference. This was my first MUN ever, and I did not know what to expect. I didn’t know how big my committee was, how much I would be expected to talk, and even how the committee sessions worked.

I was so worked up about it that I was very close to backing out of the trip, but somehow I ended up sticking with it. On our first day of committee, I was extremely nervous and confused. I didn’t understand most of the language and motions my fellow delegates were using.

My committee was a Specialized Committee on the annexation of Hawaii, with only around 20 delegates in total. This was much less than I expected, which meant I would have to talk a fair amount. Even though I knew this off the bat, I spent the whole first day observing and didn’t participate.

This was an introvert’s worst nightmare. I was completely panicked. I felt so unprepared and inferior compared to the other kids, and again, I was ready to back out. However, convincing from my roommates and my parents made me stay, and the next day I felt more comfortable and ended up talking twice.

This was extremely nerve-racking for me because I felt very intimidated by my fellow delegates. I felt as if they were smarter and more prepared than me, and I was self continuously about messing up.

Even though my body was utterly trembling when I did it, I still spoke, and I am very proud of myself for that. I also made friends with a few other girls who were also doing this for the first time and probably just as nervous as I was.

Having friends in my committee while also getting used to the language and structures of the committees made me feel so much more at ease about being there. By the end of the second day, really, the only thing remaining for me to feel anxious about was the third day, when we would have committee meetings for nine hours.

We only met for 2 to 4 hours the previous two days, so this next day would be a challenge. However, besides getting lost trying to find a CVS, my third day was uneventful.

I spoke a few times, and while I still felt jittery speaking in front of my fellow delegates, I felt much more comfortable than in the previous days. By the end of the nine hours, my bloc won the debate, and I felt pretty good about myself. And that was basically it.

The last day was just a short committee meeting in which we just played icebreaker games. When we were finished, my classmates and I got on the bus and went home.

Overall, I would not say that YMUN was necessarily a comfortable or stress-free experience, but it was definitely one that I learned from. Next time, I would try to make sure to get into a General Assembly Committee so there would not be so much individual pressure on me. If I were to go again, it would be less stressful because I know how the committee meetings work, and I know what to expect.